quitting the memory of a job is almost as hard as actually quitting

Something you should know about me is that I’m a Leo and that means I’m loyal as all heck. There are times that’s worked for me and other times that’s worked against me. Sometimes my loyalty looks like being a dependable employee, easy to work with and just all around chill coworker. Other times my loyalty looks like ignoring my body cues or powering through work even when I’m exhausted. Sometimes my loyalty looks like staying up late to finish an assignment because I’ve tricked myself into thinking that’s better than asking for an extension. I’ve noticed this pattern that after leaving a job or completing a contract, my body catches up on everything I didn’t offer myself before.

This past week I wrapped up my final assignment with the project I’ve been freelancing with from my corporate job. Even though I had left my full time employment with them at the end of 2023, I was still working on one project as a contractor. Something happened immediately after I hit send on my last assignment: I got sick. My allergies were suddenly out of whack, my head hurt, my body felt tired (It almost had my wishing I could unclick send!) but I knew that this was my body releasing everything that had continued to be held in my cells by continuing this project. I was grateful for the work, I loved the team I worked with, but deep down that stress was wearing away at me beneath the surface.

When I look back to 2023 when I sent my resignation email in immediately and I mean IMMEDIATELY after hitting send my entire neck locked up. I couldn’t even turn my head. I had to book a massage asap because your girl was stuck looking to the left. When I connect the dots: neck tension, migraines, and holding stress in my shoulders was a consistent theme throughout.

After I left my job at a local shop, I was simple exhausted. I felt the energy of not having control over my schedule catching up with me and the exhaustion I felt from trying to squeeze my business in around the restraints of my retail schedule. It was like everything I had ignored during that time had space to be felt.

You get the picture.

The body holds onto what our mind has long forgotten about. After noticing this pattern time after time, here are three things that helped me navigate the times of transition:

return to energetic boundaries

Even though I enjoyed what I was doing in both scenarios, I felt this deep exhaustion from prolonged disregulation.

Let me put that another way: ya was out of her flow. 

I felt the waves of working retail just as I felt the waves of putting out little fires everyday at my 9-5. By nature of caring about my job, I was so influenced by the states of my coworkers, customers, clients that I had forgotten my energetic boundaries. Whether you’re completing a contract, leaving a job or making any big transition in life, give yourself space to return to your boundaries around your energy and time.

bring awareness to anxiety of the micro stressors that were part of the day-to-day

After leaving my agency job, I remember feeling waves of anxiety every Tuesday around 9:45/10a. I felt my breathing shorten and a sinking feeling in my chest. My body was getting ready for a weekly resourcing meeting that I adopted when I first started my job in 2016 and I was essentially stuck with for the 6 years that followed. This meeting always felt like me vs. my team to figure out the schedule. And even though this meeting was not on my calendar; my body was preparing to fawn or to fight. Take note of how your energy feels through the day, are there any “unexplained” emotions you're navigating that could be tied to a previous role you held?

give yourself time expect as little of yourself as possible 

My default was to hop right back into my business, all gas, no brakes. But where’s the transition in that? I needed time to ground before jumping right back in and I let that be okay. Only the necessary work. I responded to the emails that were needed to keep things going but had no expectations for myself to create or finish anything that wasn’t necessary for the present week. I let myself flow. Instead of running into the river and wondering which was is the current, I dipped my toe in before I slowly laid down to float. 

The week(s) or months of transition are some of the most important. It’s where I get to reflect on where I’ve been and where I’m headed, where I get to catch up with myself and my self care first. I took a lot of baths, gardened and did those little extra things that remind me — these moments of stillness are what I’m living for. 

How do you identify the stressors your body may be holding?

I offer a free guided meditation called Seeing Yourself that guides you through a journey of looking at how you see yourself, how seen you feel in your family, friendships, romantic relationships and at work.