brb scheduling time to smell the roses
“But it’s due tomorrow”
“I have to finish this before I do anything else”
“This is the only time I have to work on this so I have to do it now”
At the height of burnout, these thoughts were what stood in between me and taking much needed breaks. Somehow I had learned to place my need to work above my deeper need to be with nature, to touch grass, to simply go for a five minute walk. This fixation almost broke me as my stress continued to mount and I didn’t see any relief. In my previous blog, the energy of staying committed vs. powering through, I explore this feeling that in order for me to enjoy rest or take a break –– I had to “earn” it.
Just writing that sentence woke my inner child up from a nap. It brings back the feeling of:
“Eat your vegetables before you can have desert”
“Finish your homework before you go outside and play”
Except this time, it was the difference between burning myself out or building endurance through rest. Every time I told myself I didn’t have time for self-care, I was actually denying myself an opportunity to recharge in big and small ways. I used to think if I wasn’t actively working on the tasks at hand, I wasn’t making progress. It turns out by not making time for rest I was actually working against myself.
Making time for self-care wasn’t something I could keep pushing to the bottom of my to-do list. And by doing so I was not only burning myself out, but keeping myself stuck. Stuck in the same habits that led to burnout at my 9-5 and perpetuated it for years. This perspective keeps me from seeing other possibilities because my head was so buried in the work I’ve piled around me. I had the to-do lists, I had the time scheduled on my calendar, so why couldn’t I get anything done? That’s when I learned that scheduling time to smell the roses was just as important as scheduling time to work on projects.
I’ve been listening to a book called Better in Every Sense that’s all about overcoming challenges not by “toughing it out” but by connecting with our senses to boost our resilience and creativity. Ever notice how when you step away for a walk you come back to the email that you were struggling to write with a clearer head? That smelling the most delicious rose feels like an instant burst of serotonin? This is no coincidence. Regularly engaging the senses helps the brain’s sense muscles stay engaged and our brains more open to taking in the world around us through new perspectives.
“Stopping to smell the roses, as it were, ceases to be a truism easy to dismiss and becomes a vital habit we can learn to access even as the deadlines pile up and the stress mounts”
— Better in Every Sense
That’s the key right there.
How do I remember to smell the roses when time already feels scarce? How do I take a moment for myself when I have 5 people in my emails waiting for a response? I have to start by building the habit that instead of doubling down when I’m already exhausted to close my computer and take a break. It’s so engrained that “the only way out is through” which isn’t false, but how I get through is where there’s room for growth. Do I want to finish my work by staying up late, surviving on caffeine on an empty stomach and feeling overwhelmed? Or do I want to create spaciousness in my day that allows me to take walks, make a nourishing lunch and remind myself that my wellbeing is more important than any project.
I’ll take the second option –– here are two small habits I’ve been including in my day to add a little more spaciousness:
Give yourself little treats
And by little treats I mean boundaries around your self-care. It’s okay to say ‘no’ when the only plans on your calendar are taking a bath and getting to bed early. It’s okay to suggest a different time because the time someone offered is when you had a walk planned. These moments throughout the day when you give yourself the gift of recharging are what give you the resilience to reach your goals without burning out in the process.
Actually schedule time for breaks
Sometimes you don’t need 10 more minutes to work on something, you actually need 10 minutes of doing nothing. I’ll let you in on a little secret: When I used to work at my 9-5 I used to put “Appointment” on my calendar and what that meant was I was going to take a mid-day break. I got in the habit of working through my lunch breaks when I was at my previous job, so I would mark ‘Appointment’ on my calendar as a way to signal “don’t book over this” to me and my coworkers. My favorite way to include breaks is to take a short break every time I switch tasks. This let’s my brain know that one task is completed and we’re about to begin the next one, otherwise things start to blur together. I’ll admit there are some days I find it harder to step away than others, but never regret it once I do.
So the next time you feel a wave of overwhelm coming, try blocking a little time on your calendar to go smell the roses. You present and future self will thank you.